How to survive fine dining

A private dining room at Per Se.

I hadn’t really planned on making an entire post on the Fine Dining Etiquette taught by Chhaya Momaya, but on the request of my readers, here are the steps you must take before, during and after having a meal at a Fine Dining restaurant for the perfect experience.

1. Always book a table; and while you’re at it, do mention the number of people. Of course, this is only in the case of a fine dining restaurant and not relevant when you’re eating at the local diner.
2. Inquire about cover charge.
3. Confirm the dress code. Most restaurants expect formal dressing. In western countries, a coat is imperative for men.
4. If the cuisine is new to you, you may confirm what they serve. Focus on the choice of words. For example, “Can I request you to omit the tomatoes; I or my guest has an aversion to them” or “Would you assign a sommelier to my table?”
5. Depending on the occasion you may opt for a restaurant that has loud or soft music.
6. Once you reach the gate- pause. The attendant will usher you to the table.
7. Gentlemen please make sure the ladies are seated first!
8. Women must take their seat from the right of the chair (this means from their left hand side), sit at the edge first and then push themselves back.
9. Once you’re seated, the waiter will place the half folded napkin in your lap. The napkin must never be kept on the table. If at all you need to get up, you must place it on the seat. The only time you may place the napkin on the table is after you have finished with your meal. Also, you should not wipe your hands/face too blatantly with the napkin. If you’ve dealt with greasy foods or do feel the need to rub your hands vigourously, you could ask for a hot towel. If men are dealing with difficult foods such as lobsters, the buttonhole in the napkin can be used to prevent the shirt from staining.
10. If the napkin or cutlery falls off, there is absolutely no need to pick it up. That’s the waiter’s job.
11. You must not touch the cutlery or crockery until your host arrives. If you do feel the need to order food or drinks, call them up asking for permission to go ahead.
12. If women are carrying relatively big bags, they could request for a small table for it. (Who would like to keep their Louis Vuittons on the floor?!). Cell phones must be kept on a low volume ringer.
13. If some dish looks unfamiliar on the menu or is a tongue twister, you can certainly ask the waiter for assistance in helping you say it correctly. Simply point at it on the menu and ask him what is it made of and how is it pronounced. Say something like this, “Pardon my ignorance, I’m not comfortable saying this” while pointing at the dish on the menu.
14. When using the cutlery, begin from the outside and work inwards and leave them on your dish as you finish each course.
15. A soup spoon is round for quick cooling. Blowing into it is considered rude.
16. Always leave a tablespoon of the soup back in the bowl. And while you’re having your last spoonful of it, tilt the bowl with two fingers towards the outside to get the last spoonful of the soup from the bowl.
17. You should never lean over and stretch your arm out for anything. Ask the person nearest to it to pass it to you.
18. Bread is to be broken into a bite sized piece by hand and then smeared with butter. Make sure not to leave crumbs on the butter knife. Do note that bread is never to be cut, only broken by hand.
19. The bread basket moves in an anti clockwise direction.
20. Dealing with difficult foods:

• Cheese: Use cheese prongs for cutting and picking up the cheese. If there are no prongs available, you can certainly use your fingers.
  
• Spaghetti: These should ever be broken before boiling.
  
• Squeezing a lime: Hold the fork as if it were a knife and then rub the wedge of lime on an edge it to prevent it from sprinkling all over.
  
• Fruits: Pluck the grapes from the stem and have it with the
  fingers. Strawberries too must be picked up with the stem and eaten.
  
• Chopsticks: Pick up an extra pair the next time you visit an oriental restaurant and practice using it at home!
• Wine: Steps in having the first sip – just the first sip (doing this for every sip will only make you look stupid) – Swirl, smell and sip. Then roll your tongue over the inside of the upper lip. Place the bottle of wine slanted in the ice bucket when not being used (you don’t want any air accumulating in it). And after you’re done with it, place the empty bottle upside down in the ice bucket.

1. After you’re done with your meal, always place the cutlery in a 4 o’clock or 6 o’clock position; the sharp sides always facing inwards.
2. After you’re done with your meal, ask for the check, not bill. Do not fight over who will pay the bill at the table. You could probably take them to dinner the next time. The tip should always be 15%.

That was all that jotted down frantically as she spoke.

Did you know?
The fine dining restaurant in New York, Thomas Keller’s Per Se seats only 16 people and has to booked months in advance. While you’re making your reservations, they ask for your credit card details, and if you cancel, they will still charge you for the entire meal! And $ 500 per person is by no means a small amount.

Tagged as: fine dining, tips